Yankee Stadium Express

It just occurred to me that with the Yankees up 3 games to 2 in the World Series, tonight could be the last trip with the decked-out fanatics that take Metro-north to the stadium (at least for this season anyway). So in their honor, I thought I'd share a few rules that I've adopted for traveling on the Hudson Line on a game day:

1. Pick the right train car - Any seasoned subway rider, commuter, or retummoc will know that picking a train car for the speediest exit at your destination is key to saving time. However, this does not hold true on a game day. You need to survey the surroundings to avoid being stuck near bro-deo's, sor-RAWR-ity girs, and cougars. It is possible to score bonus points by looking for people who have taken booze with them on the train. If you see a low key group with beer or a Styrofoam cooler, sit near them. If they overestimated the amount they could drink on the train, they'll probably try to pass off the rest. Hey, its happened before...

2. Do not sit in a 4 or 6 seater - Its usually easier to spread out by taking the seats that face each other, but on on a game day these seats are in high demand. If traveling alone, you will be joined by others, and be caught in an awkward position. Having grown up in PA and now living NY, I've abandoned any allegiance to sports teams. Given that I'm not the biggest sports fan to begin with, being polite and friendly never relieves those "I'm sitting at the wrong lunchtable" feelings.

3. Do not try to be productive - The environment is far busier than usual, and its nearly impossible to concentrate on work or reading. Your best shot is to escape with electronics. If you happen to be trained to sleep even while standing, you still may get to take a train nap. But that's about as likely as falling asleep at a Foo Fighters concert.

4. If all else fails: eavesdrop, hard - A pretty good rule to remember in general; you have a front row seat to some pretty entertaining stories. People tend to forget they are taking PUBLIC transportation, so take advantage of the free material. If nothing good comes up, feel free to embellish or make up your own stories. Don't feel bad, there's far worse on television.

Cynical though they may sound, the rules are all about avoiding worst case scenarios and trying to have fun.